I was going to title this post “Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”. I thought ‘wow, that’s a great title, it really has a certain something to it!’ and I was quite proud of myself for thinking of it. Then I remembered, it’s the tagline on Bill Maher’s book “New Rules”. Obviously I am a genius.
A miracle happened yesterday. I finally made a coworker laugh. The sound that proceeded my joke sounded like a mule being killed, I guess it’s ambitious to assume that it was a ‘laugh’. I immediately regretted my efforts to try and be funny. If that is the sound I’m going to hear every time I tell a joke, I may never speak again. I’ve been known to be a bit of a laugh whore [especially in photography] where I will talk constantly, trying to make people laugh. I think I’ve grown a little and have gained some restraint and, basically realized how fucking obnoxious it is when I’m like that. And it is important for me to distinguish that I’m not whoring for laughs at work. I’m trying to make it slightly easier to get through these tedious days, and the only way I know how to make something more endurable is to laugh. It’s an important distinction, and I feel like a slightly better person, realizing that I’m not the equivalent of the crazy uncle walking around saying ‘pull my finger!’ anymore.
I have my first official shift at Torrid today. I’m quite excited and a little nervous. I love the store and always have a great time when I shop there so I imagine working there will be just as enjoyable. To commemorate the occasion, I have acquired [bought - ‘acquired’ is not a euphemism for ‘stole’] a pair of ridiculously trendy gladiator sandals. Russell Brand has this bit about a pair of boots that he got and it goes something like this: “There was a moment before I had these boots and I was looking at them, through a shop window and thought ‘I want them boots.’ and like this is the nature of consumerism, how it succeeds, I thought ‘If I get them boots, I will be truly happy. That is what missing from my life, them fucking boots’” That is more or less exactly how I feel about my gladiator sandals. Ever since the movie “Gladiator” came out, I have longed for the day when I too might strut the streets of my hometown in bronze, strappy, magnificence without fearing the ridicule of those around me. Well my friends, that day is finally here. Although I probably will get made fun of because so far everyone I’ve talked to is not a fan of the ‘gladiator sandal trend’ but they can shove it because I love them.
