1) Stupid emo/punk twats who make out on crowded buses. Yes it is reassuring to see that even fucking pricks like you can find love, it doesn’t mean we want to watch you swallow each others faces on the way home from work.
2) Coworkers who don’t laugh at my funny jokes and then make me feel like an ass for trying to make the work day bearable with humor.
3) Stupid nobodies who carry BRIEFCASES. I’m sorry, there is no point and everyone knows you are a cunt. If you didn’t have a briefcase, it would probably take people a little longer to figure it out, but in the end we would still know you are a cunt and using a briefcase just expedites the process of discovering just how big a cunt you are.
4) WordPress spell check that says I’m spelling ‘cunt’ wrong.
5) Homeless people who carry sofa cushions on buses.
6) People who have more hairspray on their heads than brains in their head.
7) People (specifically coworkers) who do not make eye contact. Please do not stare at my shoulder or chest when I am trying to speak to you. It is awkward and rude. On top of which, this offense is compounded by the fact that you look whistfully into the distance mid sentence. FINISH A THOUGHT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
